A New Start

We did it. We moved into our house on February 1 2016. Life is finally settling in with new jobs new garden and a whole lot of sorting and disposing of on the go (oh and DIY in the house).  I have never been one to sort out what I don't want before a move. it has always been an after thought.

Now situated in South Yorkshire we are both loving the location, the people, the countryside and an endless number of places new to us to enjoy and explore. Upping stakes and moving to somewhere totally new to you is not the easiest thing in the world. It can cause moments of terror and joy but for us it has been worth it.

We are the same distance from London as we were in Somerset but the train service is direct. We are about four hours from Edinburgh rather than nine or more. Only a couple hours from Liverpool and the west coast, so really on such a strangely shaped island we are pretty centrally located.

As I am reminded of regularly we are not in England we are in Yorkshire/South Yorkshire and it is a whole new (different) world.

Thank you all for making us foreigners feel so welcome. 

The Next Waiting Game

The rollercoaster will soon be coming to an end we hope.  December 15 2015

The final day - AKA the Exchange - was a nightmare (something for which I am not surprised) I thought it would never end. Friday at 6pm we moved from our old home and into a twenty-one foot caravan. The awning was so packed with stuff that needed to go into storage that there was barely enough room to get to the caravan door let alone open it but we made our first night.

The excitement of this new adventure over the months wore off. That first weekend was used to try to pack the rest of the stuff into storage and it fit. we finally had room to move around the awning. I used to complain about my 7 x 9 foot kitchen but after living with a 2x2 foot caravan kitchen I will never complain again about a small kitchen.  I have lived through a micro kitchen to tell this tale.

We finally quit our jobs went on a short anniversary trip to Berlin then we left for the north to find a house. We found one and are now in the midst of experiencing the reverse nightmare of buying rather than selling.

Now the lawyers that were a nightmare in the selling experience I thought was just a one off. The whole sale of our house took 11 weeks from offer to exchange. I really do struggle to understand how a professional body of learned people who are paid to conduct the legal end of a house sale can with a straight face proudly admit they have graduated law school.

Especially with comments like
Us: how is it going?
Them: We are waiting for your signed paperwork
Us: we delivered it two weeks ago.
Them. Oh yes it is here.

Three weeks later -
Us: How is it going?
Them: We are waiting for the paperwork signed by your co-habitator saying she is moving out. and this and this and this.
Us: You have it and you have it and you have it.
Five to six weeks waiting for paperwork they already had - This is a joke - must be!

OMFG You have graduated from law school and you can't even read the paperwork sent before asking insanely ignorant questions and can still proudly take money for which most of the work required is done by the seller and the buyer - not you.

Why is this type of service tolerated by everyone buying or selling (our buying experience seems to be following a similar pattern but final comments will have to wait.

Why do we not ask to see these silly law degrees and when evidence is given ask well how did you get that when you can't read, write, communicate in general or conduct yourself and your business in a professional manner.

I do not have a higher degree from college but I would be absolutely embarrassed to admit I graduated from college and preform the way conveyancing solicitors preform their duties. Cleaning toilets has more pride than the above mentioned career choice seems too.

As my English husband would say - I'll just go to the bottom of the stairs. I can only shake my head and live with it. No choice. The Solicitors/Lawyers write the rules and there is nothing one dumbfounded (by the idioticness of it all) can do about it. We are handcuffed, it is a losing battle when it comes to change and well their is no pride in the world of Conveyancing.

Anyway I am sure we will survive - minus a few years off our lives for added stress for which we will receive no compensation. This haunting time has tainted our holidays with the worry of it all and the anticipation of it being over. this anticipation for it to be over means that I must get through the holidays faster to get it over quicker and we are supposed to enjoy the holidays.

The Waiting Game.

The Waiting Game.

All that pain of having people traipse in and out of my house for almost two years is just slightly more painful than the waiting game. Paperwork, lawyers and no guarantee makes life mildly less painful. The slow pack is much more inconvenient than the pack the whole house in three days.  Too much time to sort, to group, to catalog, to unclutter – when will it end?

Here is a few websites to help you through the pain.

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/moving-tips/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/homes/property/moving_packingtips.shtml

http://moving.about.com/od/packingtipsandtricks/tp/pop_packing_tip.htm

My preferred packing method is up and out in less than a week.  Of course the charity shops love it when I slow pack because I always squeeze in a bit more decluttering (than when I fast pack) along the way (although I could do a lot more – I have a lot of stuff). 

But this is not a straight move.  This is a move into temporary (very small) accommodations while continuing to work and look for a new house a few hundred miles north. It means there will be a lot of tiring weekends to look forward too.

Even more wearing on the nerves, is trying to keep out that which is, may or might be needed during our gypsy days (ahem I mean months) between homes.  It would be so much easier to just move from one house to another but as it is it is not going to happen. So, on we tread into a future that is as full of opportunities as I can stuff it.

 And I will survive this too.

 

 

 

MOOCS, MOOCS, MOOCS, Hurray for MOOCS!

 

Having lived in England for the past ten years my brain has been starved for learning. Oh I have been learning the culture and the new language but I mean real in class learning.  They have excellent education here but nothing affordable for the people interested in a class here or a class there. My job is mind numbingly boring which doesn’t help either.

What I discovered to fill this space is MOOCs – Massive Open Online Courses and they are FREE! You can take them free or pay a nominal fee to receive the credits toward your degree if they are applicable to it.  Either way I am learning again and I can not express how delightful it is to be doing that again.

Here are just a few places to find Massive Open Online Courses - Free!

https://iversity.org/

https://www.futurelearn.com/

https://www.edx.org/

https://www.coursera.org/

 

I Survived!!!

Waking Up!

After having the house on the market for two years and twenty eight days it looks as if it has sold. Subject to contract (of course) so I thought I would get blogging again.

I am far from the neatest person and having to constantly Hidy-Tidy my clutter has made life a misery this last year (especially). It is not only the clutter but my eccentric decorations were constantly having to be put away. True they are things I love and/or have made but are really a little out in left field in general acquiescence – most being not for the faint of heart.

All I can say is … I SURVIVED!!! Although there will be some major turmoil in the next few months – moving everything into storage, moving into temporary accommodations, living out of suitcases for a while, leaving my job, packing for a few months in the states before we come back to look for another house – nothing can be as bad as the depressiveness (at least for me) of having strangers traipse in and out of your house.  Yuk!

It is nice now that things are moving forward. Hopefully as the weeks go by I can reminisce back on things from the last year, share what is happening now and ponder some dreams for the not too distant future as well as have a moan about the disturbing state of the world. (runn on sentences – gotta lov ‘em.

I will tell you my dream house is still under a bridge waiting for the goats (goat is great food)… ho hum … but I am afraid that will have to wait a while but until then a nice 3 bedroom semi would do and I will tell the locale in a later blog.

Hello New Year

Dear 2014,

   As this is a blog from a wanna-be living under a bridge type individual I see no reason to fluff up whats on my mind. My hiatus from posting has been part 'where do I start' to 'pure-laziness.'

   Water has been forefront in my mind lately and if you read some of the things happening from lack of rain to flooding to dying seas to killer tidal waves ... water in some way has been big news in the previous 12 months.

I will go out on a limb here and say it will be (and if it is not it should be) in the forefront this year too. Such a silly thing as water yet our very existence is dependant on it yet big businesses and even government bodies are purchasing water rights around the US and the world.

Those that control the water will control life. If you don't believe me Google or Bling 'Nestle water rights' or 'state water rights' as there are states in the US that are making it illegal to collect rain water in varying amounts without a permit.

Who owns the rain anyway?  Water is the new and growing commodity and it is frightening to think how far this could go. Do we really need so desperately to be controlled by big business and government?

The very thought of the possibilities is making feel like a conspiracy theorist with a twist of paranoia.

If you are looking for a good investment you might want to jump on the band wagon and find some water rights of your own to purchase. That might be a life giving inheritance to your kids someday.

All those mind bending water thoughts aside, I am so happy the New Year has arrived. At my age you would think I would be dreading the passing of the years, even a single year but I don't, as any chance to start fresh and do better is special.

I am no good at resolutions so I will make none here but I am making plans. I am taking that sage advice of learning from where I have been, enjoying (the best I can all things considered) where I am at and moving forward toward what is waiting ahead. May the fates take pity on me with all the moaning and groaning I do.

Peace and Love to all for the New Year
Me~

Moving On - A Golden Rule Revival - Of Sorts!

   Strange how we neglect to look inside for what is troubling us. The possible outside forces, which can cause mayhem in our thinking or habits, good or bad right or wrong, are there. We just need to look inside and see. We may not always find an answer to why, who or how, but often just swimming into the quagmire will help us disperse the sludge.

   I filled with sludge shortly after taking a leap of faith and sharing a selection of interesting personal articles I had hoped to publish.  Shortly after I had sent it and began the waiting-game I lost my ability to write in length. My thoughts of writing and stories floated about almost constantly but could not draw myself out to put finger to keys. It was painfully.
   This dilly dally crap went on for weeks and I am talking weeks. The editor I chose seemed to be knee deep in his own busy life and I was merely an afterthought … well that is how I felt. 
   Three, four and five weeks passed between communications and all those ‘oh I am enjoying the reading,' 'it is comical' (as it was meant to be) etc., said lots but his actions and lack of interest in working on it showed me his words were empty.
   The money I am paying did little to guarantee communication and forward movement in this endeavor and I am paying almost three times my hourly wage for this. When he did do something, he did it professionally but honestly you would think he was a spoilt top paid movie star.  Oh you know I am good so you will put up with it. Actually I am talking your word on that and it is #$%^&!
   Several weeks ago I threw my hands up and decided to start bugging – previously he would say next week and it would be three to five weeks. Nothing in between, no email saying sorry busy time or it is going to be delayed, nothing. If there are delays, people are much more understanding if you let them know than expecting them to just suck it all up when it is done. The situation has not improved but I have freed myself.
   Four months it took me to look inside me and realize that I had mistakenly prepared to put my life aside to work on this with him. As my mind tormented itself with waiting and the calling of my stories to give them attention and still I could seem to stop waiting.  My expectations were weekly or fortnightly were not daily - I am a reasonable person.

   When I finally cleared my toys from the pram, I felt desperate to get back what I felt I had lost. I started in on a YA, which needed its last couple chapters. Once I had finished rereading the first 25k words I sat and finished the ending in two days (5-6k). I have done some correcting and it is ready for a couple beta readers and their comments. I threw off my mental bindings and dove in.

   I would not leave all the fault with my editor in fact most of the fault shall be mine and the choices I made. I waited rather than pressed the issue. I trusted people to follow through with what they said they were going to do and give heed to our communications. I assumed! I made an ass out of him and me by not following through with the issues I was having. Not every choice we make is a good one but how often we allow one bad choice the time to reproduce more bad choices.

   When it comes to business where there is an exchange of funds for work, acquaintances or not, keep it business and keep the personal stuff out of it. Treat your customer as you would want to be treated as a customer.

Sounds so simple.
Sounds so stupidly simple.                  
It is still up in the air but I have moved it to a back burner.

From the Ashes ...

I know I have been away for a bit. Massive amounts of things going on but from the ashes of what has burned through these last few months there is a seed breaking open and life emerging.  All my rants about waste and recycling – well probably not enough of them – has propelled me to with several others create a group called UpcycleWild.  This brainchild has been on a slow emergence and is not all to my credit - rather the results of months of discussions on how best to move forward.

One lady creates the most wonder bags from old pants called Mim Bags. These are wild, funky, sometimes outlandish purses/handbags with fantastic utility.  Another shop will be recreating (aka Upcycling) retro furniture into funky new looks. I am currently sporting a bedroom set she did and I love it.  I have a slightly unusual item I Upcycle.  Bones, antlers skins, and more upcycled into into interesting pieces of art, curios and some more useful items. 

Our husbands love working with wood and is playing with ways to recycle pallets and old pieces of broken furniture into everything from useful pieces form model railroad layouts to Christmas decorations.  We girls will also have a range of unique clothing and accessories called B.U.G.s – Beautiful Upcycled Garments. This is the brainchild of our Jo but is so much fun we all cannot resist putting our hands and minds to the task. 

Although we will each have our own representative shops, most of what we do will be linked through our labor of and love for recycling old and unwanted into new and treasured.  Our most important rule is everything offered will be 70% or more recycled.  Things people have found useless or thrown away or sold on for pennies to the pound, as the saying goes.
 
All of this is still six months in the future and the future looks promising.   

My Old World!

I miss the old world, my old world.  The world when you went out to the bookstore to buy a book.  Called a friend to sale hello and most of all, the customer was important and your quality kept you in business.

I know I am not the only person who feels this way.  Who has signed a contract only to find out all those promises of how important you are as a customer was hogwash (jiggery-pokery) to get you signed up?  The words and energy behind them was black and void. 

I know I would miss the ability to turn on the computer and being able to check how the kids are doing half way around the world, finding that instant answer to what was the name of that song or my bread machines instructions manuel because I miss placed mine again.  Sure I would miss them for a while but for how long I can only guess. 

Apocalyptic Tidbit - Vinegar

In an effort to share some useful information - lets give Vinegar its fair dues ... The stuff is awesome.

VINEGAR It is a must-have for the survival kit.  Gallons of the stuff would be handy.

I use it when cleaning small wild game before popping them in the fridge for cooking the next day or freezing on the day.  I soak it after the final clean water rinse only because it is impossible as humans to keep sanitary conditions when skinning rabbits or feathering partridge.  Vinegar will help kill any lingering bacteria before freezing

It will reduce bacteria build up on many surfaces including hands.  Be careful not to use it on granite style surfaces like marble pastry boards.

FRUIT and VEG wash with vinegar and water is excellent to remove any residue chemicals as well as cosmetic residue (Wax on apples). Look it up  How To Clean Fruits    

More Fabulous uses ...

Avinegar wash over a sunburned area will cool it.

Excellent for pickling and preserving food.

Even better for eliminating odors

A lovely hair rinse – soak fresh crushed rosemary in a quart of water over night – add two tablespoons of white vinegar and use as a final rinse on your hair to remove build up and put some shine in it.  

Uses for vinegar: Tips and ideas

Vinegar also has many health attributes.  Whatever you think about vinegar it is something I will be hoarding when **** hits the fan.

Best advice is get one of those cute little books about the wonders of vinegar or print a few pages off the internet to have to hand when needed.  Easy to make too.

Apocalypse Nuggets - Dandelions

Doom, Doom, Gloom.  Ok I feel better.

Actually I thought I might do something a little more useful. You know the world is headed for some major changes – Asteroid, Solar Flares, Zombies – Who knows from what or where. Although the thought of being the only one left in the world seems a little less stressful, I think it would be more fun to live under a bridge if there were people to scare and goats to eat.

I took some photos and thought I would share a bit of interesting easy to remember info about things that grow wild and are edible.

 

Dandelion if there was ever a beneficial weed in the world it is the Dandelion. I hope is makes it onto our favorite flowers list since many of our most lovely flowers found their start as weeds.  I cannot sing the praises of dandelions more.  It is a food worth examining before it is one of those things you do out of desperation.

Mr Culpepper Explains that the Dandelion is under the dominion of Jupiter and opens and cleanses the waters within.  A natural diuretic and useful in opening obstructions and cleansing the Liver, gall and spleen. All parts are edible (no not the body part – ew!).  Mr Culpepper was ahead of his time. 

Check out the nutritional value of one cup of raw dandelion greens, just 55 grams, dandelion greens.  I think you will be amazed. But don't limit yourself to just the greens try these other ways of making us of that omnipotent little treasure messing up your borring see of green grass.

Dandelion leaf tea

Dandelion Wine

Dandelion Beer

I am thinking the biggest block to feasting on the neighborhood lawns or the field is … do dogs tread or cows graze. Still it is always  nice to know a little of the free foods in you community.  Learn a few as part of the Plan B you are always thinking about.  

Another - Fixin' What Ain't Broken - Rant!

The MANDATORY digital change – wasn’t that a load of crap! Seriously think about it. Let’s look at this logically in the spirit it was forced on us. Some people who have major investments in cable and satellite and TV electronic companies said ‘hey we are not making enough money so lets change everything so people have no choice but to pay out more money. They will have to sign up for satellite or freeview or buy new televisions.  Thirty million households (give or take a few million) and about a third of those will need to upgrade in some way.

Can almost hear them rubbing their hands together, imagining the profits from sales. Oh it is going to be better, bigger, brighter.  The UK is going to be the first government, under the thumb of an out dated broadcasting service, to FORCE everyone to have this better, bigger, brighter system.

What about those poor people (me included) who have no money to buy all this new stuff – you can use the old stuff but you have to buy this special box or satellite to make it work. Well we know they are going to have to find a way to afford it especially since they have no money to go to the movies, to restaurants or the theatre occasionally. Can’t afford the gas to go anywhere, let alone the cost of the tickets so TV is the all-round best entertainment going.  What choice have they (the UK Gov) left them?

They (one particular broadcasting company) already holds everyone who has a TV hostage every year to feed their money addiction through licensing fees. Believe it or not they have even had the puppets of democracy pass a law saying we must pay them for the privilege of owning a TV whether or not we watch their programs. If we don’t pay we can go to Jail.  Dictators!

So what do we really have with all this better bigger brighter promise (Digital Television)? If there is a storm (which can be as little as medium winds or rain)  here on our end or over there where the signal is beamed out to us, we have nothing.  DISRUPTION – can’t see or hear a thing.  This is progress? The picture maybe better but the hissy sissy equipment doesn’t like to play if it is rainy or windy and wae!  Where do we live?  Britain where the weather is what drives us on.

At least we could still hear the news even if the picture was disrupted on analog, now we hear and see nothing – THAT’S what improvement is all about.  And the best part is THERE IS NO CHOICE in the matter – oh doesn’t that reek of a totalitarian regime (or a good start to one). 

When has there ever been improvement pushed on us that didn’t make money or save money for those making them.  I think I would have a heart attack if I heard the government say. Hey this isn’t going to make us any money or even save us any money but it might make our population feel better live happier or healthier if we make this change or we do this.

Oh lets wrap this up here before I start on something else.

So again I ask why do we try to fix things that truly aren’t broken or change how something is done if it has been working fine for the larger majority?  I am not adverse to progress but I am not for it, when it is all about money for the big boys and forced down the throats of the little people (the VAST majority get screwed).

What would have seemed more sensible IMHO, to leave both analog and digital available. There are a vast amount of movie and TV buffs that would have easily paid out for all the extras - money would have been made. Just not as much as and those greedy 'leave no stone or option available' individuals, groups or companies that won't-allow-anything-to-stand-between-them-and-their-profits types aren't about to let that happen.

Grrrrowl, Grrrrrowl, Grrrrowl ... Ok I am better now.

We have decided when we move we will not be installing a TV (for anything but videos and DVDs) or paying our licence.   

Saving Sea Turtles

We Need to Save more than just the Turtles - Long winded and Opinionated

I often cringe when I see posts that say things like - boycott Nestles they are clearing rainforests to plant palm oil or boycott a hundred other company's that use monsanto grown corn.

I would love to do both those things religiously but to get to the root of the problem with the palm oil problem we need to work with the native people who use the pittance paid to them for tearing down the rain forests and planting the palm oil trees to survive on.  We need to find them something that pays better so they can turn their backs on these greedy companies.  We need to show them how important their heritage is and how they need to protect it. We need to compete with the big boys.  That may give us a chance against producers like Nestles.

With massive sized corporations like Monsanto who have their fingers in pies and cakes around the world, things are more scary. I am not quite sure what would be the best approach or if there is anything to be done anymore.  Like everything it is Greed motivated.  Convincing Betty Crocker that we will pay more for their product if they buy a more expensive nonMonsanto grown and produced flour or other products isn't that straight forward.  Besides how many of us would pay more.  It is not just Betty Crocker as many generic brands are produced and packaged by the name brand companies so you might as well just learn to make that chocolate cake from scratch and buy your flour from your local flour mill which only usues organically grown flour ... I think you understand what I am trying to say about how hard it has already become to fight this battle.

So please don't just ask me to boycott give me an alternative.  Spend an equal amount of time investigating alternatives to using these companies as you do discovering which companies are using the product you want me to boycott.  We don't necessarily have the time between family, work, home and life in general to look for alternatives even if we want to join the boycott.  Most of us are far from having enough money to be excessive with the food we buy.  Give us alternatives. Give us options!

I know we should in all world market countries OUTLAW the any government official - Senator, House of Representatives, Members of Parliament from owning or profiting from any company that is related in anyway to laws and bills being passed. Tough idea but imagine them not being ruled by GREED in profits of companies they have investment in or direct family has investment in when making decisions that have as far reaching effects as genetically modified foods which are modified ONLY so that the pesticides made by certain companies must be used to make them grow.

I have nothing against modified crops but lets do it the old way, the earth friendly way. Lets do it with respect.  It has been happening naturally for millions of years. We can help it along with digging into their genes.  All that scare mongering they are doing about when the bees disappear is no joke.  It is going to hurt us in ways we have not yet imagined. 

Would it surprise you to find out that there are a lot more people starting to hoard and stash food and some of these people are the rich and powerful. Some of these companies that are producing expensive dried foods for long term storage are making a profit even with the high prices. Have to ask yourself why are they selling that much long storage food. Do their customers see something we don't?   

For all our good intentions, it feels as though we are on a sinking ship in our desires to turn the tide of darkness we have allowed to flourish in the name of Profit, allowed to flourish beyond our ability to change.  With any profit there is an expense but the profit has reach a level beyond comprehension today and it looks as though the expense paid will be the same, beyond comprehension. Profits in the billions means little or nothing these days.

I know of an owner of a company - he drives expensive cars, owns multiple properties, buys regular new large equipment to increase yeild but has no money to pay his just above minimum wage earing employees a raise in over four years.  The only raise they get is when the national minimum wage increases.  He inherited this company and from what I understand his father was worse.  He took hold of the economic crises and used it as an excuse to claim profits are not high enough to give raises.  SO where does the money come for his personal european racing care, new machinery and vacations all over the world.  He is one of many companies that is profiting from the economic crises - rich picking in employees mean that they can get away with this and keep those profits up.

Monsanto seems to be so concerned with bigger and bigger profit and greater and greater control, they have lost sight of the bigger picture (that is unless the picture they are seeing is holding the world hostage for food, then they are on course).

When I was a little girl in the California Central Valley we used to catch fireflies, butterflies, dragonflies, praying mantises.  We had good bugs and bad bugs, lady bugs and bees.  Not much of any of those left with the amount of pesticides they have been declining drastically for the last thirty years and pretty soon the only place we see them will be in zoos.  Insects, we need them but we ignore the signs of their disappearance and what it means for us.

It hurts to think of the lack of care, the purposeful desctruction of balance and the raping and torture of our living planet.  Sometimes I just want to throw my hands up in the air and ask myself why bother caring?  Why worry about what legacy we leave our future generations, my children's children's children who will remember our time our era as the era that destroyed for profit, self absorbed and so selfish that many of us not all of us but more than not left them with one @#$%^&*
world to clean up.  Personally I wouldn’t mind seeing a major catastrophe happening in my life time and I still may.  I hope I live long enough to see the forced change that will be required to survive. After that if I am a casualty of this catastrophe, then so be it. 

As long as I can, I pledge to do the best I can and a little more to be a respectful human being to my planet and to those who inhabit it in innocence. I shall be sparing with my waste, recycle every way I imaginable, conserve my use of fossil fuels (ie., ride my bike to go shopping, shop more often so I waste less, etc), Take the time to recycle more water so I give less money to the water wasting water companies. I pledge to do the biggest amount I can for my little part in loving my earth.    

Saving Sea Turtles

This website is by one of the biggest earth loving companies I know National Georgraphic, it is a travel website with pictures and blogs from around the world.  I may never get to see any of these but it is nice to know they are still there to enjoy. All these places make my world, your world, our world the best little spaceship in the universe.

Thank you National Georgraphic for sharing with me the wonders of my world.

 

     

Dream On and Dream Big!

I keep hearing about this ‘one world-one people.’  We are all perhaps the same species but we are not like bees or ants and even they split off and create new colony.

I want to see people treated with respect and common kindness but I am no supporter of the one world one people.  I get flashes of Matrix crossed with the primordial ooze, bland and undefined.  To lose our ethnic identities feels heinous and the need to strive to find ourselves would be lost. Who we are and where we came from would no longer be a source of pride. Where would we focus our pride? We need not suffer arrogance to have pride – personal, family, community and country. 

 

My husband is English and I am American and I would never expect him to give up his nationality to become an American and neither would he expect the same thing from me.  Our countries of birth are both sources of pride even when they are acting like ninnies.  

Who would I be able to compare notes with if we all lived the same, worked the same, laughed the same. I know I am being a bit dramatic but … Where would we throw our competitive drive? What would replace that competitive spirit? What would happen to all those unique foods we eat – how could France make its claim to have the best food in the world if everyone has it?  What would happen to the Olympics?

I see nothing wrong with working together but we are unable to work together in most large corporate or government office settings, so how are we going to find the desire to work together as billions of people (I bet if you have ever experienced a large office setting you would see how unrealistic this idea is). 

It is a fantasy to think we can achieve a united earth of one people, a naive and idealistic dream but then to those who think it can happen, I say, believe because dreams can be unreasonable and dreaming is something humans do. Dreaming is good. I will dream of opening our minds and our heart to accepting those that are different as valuable, worthy of respect and kindness. I will dream of winning the lottery, I will dream of owning a small holding with at least one big ole billy goat, I will dream possible and impossible dreams because I amd human and I can. 

I will dream a dream or two or three as unrealistic as the ‘one world-one people’ idea but then dreams are for dreaming.  It they come true, we find new dreams and dream some more.  Dreams are what move us forward, spur us on. So dream on and dream big, or maybe even small but never, ever dream nothing at all. 

~My dreams rock!

 

    

Fixing What Ain't Broken

I don’t understand this need to fix what isn’t broken.

Three, maybe four years ago, it may have been longer, I noticed when I went for blood tests that the doctors now instead of taking it from the middle of the inside elbow they were tackling it from closer to the top edge (of the inside elbow).  It hurts taking it from there. 

Come to find out that some people have problems with it being taken from the good old veins in the middle soft fleshy center area of the bend in the elbow.  That’s all fine and good but NOT everybody has that problem.  So why is it when it affects some, EVERYBODY has to have it changed. 

I asked the nurse one day (and without going into detail she is crap at it) why she is taking blood on that outside edge instead of the fleshy middle like they used to do.  She said it was because of having to hold down or push down or something to hold the veins.  Well really! The things aren’t set in cement, they are round like pipes and well if you don’t hold the tube (vein) still when you try to pierce it, it is gonna try to move out of the way.

Now this last blood test (referenced above) by a nurse was pretty disturbing. She couldn’t find a blood filled vein in my right arm (on the outside edge of course).  After the third jab with the needle, when my flesh refused to give up any of the red stuff, she left the needle in and started fishing for a vein that way. I mean, thirty second ( and I am talking a good thirty seconds – ok maybe twenty but it might have been an hour for how it felt) I waited watching and trying to make light of a rather embarrassing for her, situation.

She had a training nurse in there and perhaps that made her nervous – I felt I was going to be sick. But give me a break, there must be blood somewhere in my body because my heart is beating.  Watching a needle fishing around inside my flesh was creepy, let alone how it felt. I finally had to ask her. “Can you quit moving the needle around in my arm that hurts. She stopped and paused and I then had to ask her. “Can you take it out it does not seem to be working.”

If someone on the street had attempted that I would have returned the pleasure in some defensive way, a reaction which was only natural.  Instead, I had to let her have a go at the other arm. She must have hit a nerve or something in the left arm. Probably just brushed it because nerves don’t take much to upset them. For two hours –no exaggeration this time – it strung like alcohol on an open cut, where she stuck me. Finally proved I was alive by retrieving an adequate amount of red stuff so I could get out of there. 

I was livid. I get upset as most normal people would, when stupidity makes me suffer unnecessarily. I get livid at myself or others, makes no difference, except when it is I being stupid I can do something about it.  Why did they change their style of blood drawing for everyone when the old way worked fine for many?  Why not give people a choice. It is an annoying thing to have done at the very least let us have a say in it. 

What is the real need to make changes to what everyone recieves, when the problem lies with only a few.  My Guess - Somebody had too much time on their hands and needed to show how important their overpaid position was in the medical community so, they did a study and found a few people that had problems with the old method of drawing blood.  Wallah! We will just change it for everybody!!! This will make me feel important.

 

Any way why is all this seemingly important to me at the moment?

I am scheduled for a blood test in a few hours.  I forgot to stress to the front office lady, I wanted my doctor to do it (doctors don’t do it, so I have been told but my doctor does, so I usually see him and he is pretty good at vampiring my blood out of me). So if they have me scheduled to see the nurse I am going to cancel it (even if it means I have to starve another morning for this no food consumed blood test).  Rather starve again than have to brave the Neanderthal for a second round.

Little Piggies in a Pen

Woke up this morning realizing just how cynical and negative I have been lately.  There are a thousand reasons to be that way but the biggest one is choice.  It is my choice to let the world get into the fiber of my being and reek havoc.

Cynical is an outlook, an optional way to see the world.  Often a result of the way the world has been going. You would think after all these years of internal mental observation I would have better control but I seem to be slipping. Well it is time to slip back.

Waking up feeling a little better for a better nights sleep.  This is not to say that the government has changed its ways.  It is still not a full democracy.  It still looks after the rich and terrorizes the poor. It is the blind eye it turns that is the most appalling.  Playing stupid does little to bolster the faith the majority has in it. 

Better the devil you know, they say.  Not I.  Not when it directly attacks the columns of support – the little people.  It does and we as the people are shoved into thinking that we can have little effect as individuals or groups.

The bedroom tax that is about to go into effect isn’t the worst idea in the world if it applies to ALL. Apply it to everyone and it is easier to see the benefits.  Apply it to the mansions ,the castles, the three,five or seven bedrooms. But they can’t.  Think of the money  that the mansions would be paying out for their twelve extra rooms or for multiple holiday homes. They can't because Money would scream and cry and throw the toys from the playpen and the government doesn't listen to the masses it listens to the Money.  

But it is what we have asked for by standing down and letting it happen.  Keep the little piggies busy so they have no time to think of how they can change things.  Keep them worried about their own little lives so they have no time to consider the bigger picture.  Keep them dependent on our FREE gifts and distracted with stories of morality and horse meat so they won’t see the needle as we the government slip it in to draw that little bit more blood. Keep them preoccupied so they won’t have the time or energy to expose our true ineptitude for governing.

How long will it be? When will we find our voices and our strength, before the Stressgun meets our foreheads and we are just another causualty of the governments slaughter house. As we struggle to prop up the world chained in by our struggles hemmed in by those who want to protect their freebies who are imprisoned my the money mongers, while the blood is sucked out little by little until the stress puts that deadly gun to our heads and we are freed. A causulty of a world who doesn't even know we existed.

You just want to scream  ‘Come on little piggies, look, see and then let’s do something about it. Yea, righ!.  Why get out there and get busy when we can watch our television and be entertained.  Why make our minds work when we can let them lay lazy and watch. 

Not such a bad idea. Laying and letting life bleed slowly away might be the way to live but how long have you seen things continue before something causes a hiccup or a full spew into the works.  I wonder if the Bookies are taking bets on when the world is going to flipflop. Wonder if I will bleed out before it does.

I would not say I am a doomsday prepper but it I do find pleasure learning little things that might help me to survive.  Not that surviving some apocalyptic event is something I desire. No, it is much more desirable to let those with real gusto to do that.

I thought about it for years and I am of no mind having to actually to survive and reinvent my place in some new world order.  Let me go and be reborn to it.  Much easier to work with something if you have never know any different.  Chicken shit thinking but then that is a label, which has not weight with the dead.

So I think I am truly feeling a bit chipper this morning - Can you tell?  Yesterday following that dream where I could not breath. Where I know I had stopped breathing in my sleep long enough and was deep enough in sleep that I had to shock myself awake.  What better way to do that than to dream I was suffocating and I was.

Last night I suffered what seems a lovely night's sleep and my assignment is to find good things to write about.  Not real fluffy stuff, but some nice, strokes gently perhaps of the joys of a pet I have had. Not that I want to give up on the sinister in my writing but I need to.

I need to think of Sammy and Sophie (Muscovy) and all the pleasant memories they shared with us. I need to think back and remember those happy memories because there are many and they shouldn’t be wiped over by the bullshit bad things that I have no control over. My Grandchildren, my painting, my writings, so many worderful things to think on, time to practice what I preach to myself.

I need to be patient there are things happening which are tumultuous but will resolve themselves with time.  I am in limbo and it is a bad place to be for me. Slap me with it good or bad but don’t leave me floating in suspense.  Floating is mind bending – I hate it, even when I know that is my problem, it is hard not to succumb to the panic I feel inside.  It makes me lash out and I am more controlled than that.

So this morning’s light musings will hopefully be the beginning of a better grip.  I will be a little bit more honest with myself on my limitations.  A little restrained honesty with how I voice my opinions.  I am working at core values and to change core thinking in others is not an easy task and of no real desire to me.  People tend to lash out when their core beliefs are attacked.  I attack mine daily. It is an assult that has been ongoing for all of my adult life.

They are how we judge or are judged by the rest of the world and I want mine to reflect me as the complex individual I know we humans are.  I want to reach in and nab that one thought or statement that molded that particular personal trait and give it a good shaking to make sure it can stand its ground.

I have been avoiding that recently hiding in the self indulgent pity of being only one voice and unable to assault the masses to make them see … screw the masses (for now) I need to assault myself and take care of mine own.

I need to quit worrying of othing thinking I am presenting myself as a better person to others or trying to outshine them.  That is their interpretation of my actions not my intension.  It is important to celebrate others accomplishment but do not let that foreshadow your own right to feeling accomplished too.

(A moment in time and time doesn't stand still even for me.)

Politics and Union

I need to discuss politics.  I need to know if there are others out there who are interrupting the governments promises, actions and plans the way I am.  Or am I just being all paranoid, narrowminded, scaremongering.  Your concerns may or may not coincide with mine as the most important to me but the your major concerns may be my minor concerns and visaversa. Two voices are better than one but how are we to know we have similar concerns if we never discuss it. <sigh>

The idea that friends acquaintances, associates and strangers should avoid discussing politics (and religion but that is another subject) is a sure fire way to keep them safe from those (thinking and sharing) voices joining together in protest what is wrong and what is right.

I went to our local Unison AGM and heard something inspiring.  I am a bit apprehensive of unions with all the stories and myths surrounding them but they are like any large body of people.  In any large group there will be the extremist, the fence sitters, the thieves and those with agendas but I would imagine that the majority are real honest caring people who want good for the whole. 

Remember that old saying about one wrong takes three or more rights to balance it. Honestly one wrong can destroy what a thousand rights have accomplished. He held a relatively high seat in the national committee and his message was this.

We join Unions to support each other.  Not just to make improve working conditions and protect our jobs on an individuals but to support each other in the same objective.  The fact that someone in London is suffering from bullying in their job may have no effect on my working conditions or job security but as an individual I can stand behind that individual and support his right to work without being bullied.   

How reminiscent of the old days when we would band together to help our neighbors.  There are still remnants of these days even today in the old fashioned barn raising or the pizza painting party when you invite you friends over to help you paint and offer to feed them. 

That was the foundations of the unions way back when.  For a small fee you had a thousand voices to support your need which was often a need suffered by many. I disagree with some of the over the top ideas that the unions have nurtured over the years.  There is shooting yourself in the foot for unrealistic demands and there is working out the best of a bad situation.

Is it a good idea to push for a living wage with a council that is having to make cuts to save money.  Living minimum wage is nice idea but to raise the level of pay for one pay grade would require that everyone be given a rise to keep the grades in their distinct pay grades.  That is a little unrealistic.

I wouldn’t want a living wage if it meant that others would have to lose their jobs to make the difference in cost.  Many might think why do I care but that is how we should care and look after each other. But for all the things I may disagree with it is the Unions ethos that we join in a common good to support each other – I believe in that.  Seems a shame we cannot do that on our own in everyday ways but I remain hopeful.

My Contribution

All this disruption I have been suffering in my thinking, my anger at the way people are acting, the greed, and disassociated way people are treating each other has made me look for a way to play my part in making little changes.  I have an idea and if I can afford to do it, because I doubt there will be few if any to contribute their time to this, I will.

I have written several picture books in my lifetime and they are nothing incredibly special.  They are solid little stories with cute characters.  They might be good enough to publish but then only children with money or parents who spend time to take their kids to the library will have a chance to read them. 

I want anyone who wants to read them to have access to them.  I would like to say I could print them myself and give them away to kids who have no access to computers but that is beyond my means. Maybe someday.  For now I am planning to put them, pictures embedded with the story, onto a website.

It will be a simple site that the kids or their parents can flip the pages one at a time and read the story. This is not about making money; it is about sharing.  We used to share and help each other and some of us still do.  

I come from a time before the government built had built so many fences in free programs that we were trapped into their commence pen forgetting how to make our own way.  So many feel trapped and afraid to take a terrifying step away.  It is a scary step to take, I too have had to depend on government help and those first steps away were scary but I took them. 

Sometimes the desire to have everything taken care is nice but like when you quit something you have a dependency on you begin to realize how much better you feel.  How much freer you are to make choices that do not threaten your safety net.

When I was younger, a family of my own, atTthanksgiving I would make a dozen pumpkin pies.  I would buy Halloween pumpkins on Halloween eve when they were cheaper and prepare them to be used in thanksgiving pumpkin pies.  All but 2 or 3 of these pies were for the neighbors.  Two days before thanksgiving I would start cooking so on Wednesday the kids and I would take one to each of the neighbors. 

Why?  Because they were good neighbors, friendly and we looked out for each other.  It was how neighborhoods functioned.  They weren’t like family but it was like a neighborhood family.  Looking back I never thought about the real importance of knowing your neighbors.

Anyway back to my plans to make a little change.  I want to give something, something from me, a little of my imagination.  I want to share with my new neighbors – the world.  I want be one of those out there in the world to let children know there are some people who still have time for them. That sharing is something we can all do it little bits without feeling we are bleeding our lives away for others.

This will be a little volunteering I can do.  My hat goes to all those who have time or find the time to volunteer.  I love writing.  I don’t get a lot of extra time to write with work, etc, so this will be my way of volunteering my time.

This is a plan, which will involve the need for illustrations, which I will do for lack of an illustrator.  I can draw and do basic painting and will do my best. Hopefully someone will come along and save the public from my artistic endeavors and do some illustrations for me.  We shall see and I will remain hopeful.  I know I will not be the first to do this ,and hopefully won’t be the last but it is a little something I CAN do.

Whining and complaining is not the same as doing so doing is going to be a focus.

There is one thing I have not thought of.  As sad as it is not every child has a parent or person to read to them.  When I have it all ready to upload onto a site. I want to find a happy voice to read the story for a You-Tube video.  This will not be an excuse not to create some quality time with our kids but it will make it available to kids who have no one to read it to them.

Wish me luck.

'Wrongs' are Winning

Christmas 2012

Sometime Last Christmas … Somerset UK.

Something came on the news about security in stores one evening. My husband, prompted by the story, began explaining how waiting for me to join him a few days back, on the high street, outside a local food store, he was watching the security man at work.  A group of yobs (young aggressive males,  ‘boy’ spelled backwards ), going in (one or two at  time) taking bottles of cider, beer, whatever and trying to walk out and the security guy was grabbing the bottles back as they came out.  He asked the security man why he didn't call the police and the guy said they don't bother anymore ... not worth it. The police do little or nothing and they are back the next day.

In defense of the police, their numbers have been slashed and their budgets stretched to strangling but they are not the problem ... we all are in varying degrees ... yes even me.

What a screwed up society we live in to have to suffer such behaviors.  So many rights have been passed on to perpetrators that it is the wrong that is protected; not the ones who are wronged.  Are we so afraid to do the right thing that we do nothing at all?

Scary?  it is all kinds of scary.

 I feel blessed being my age and having experienced the world I grew up in when you got in as much trouble or more when you got home as you did at school disrespecting the rules.  A time when you worried about your parents opinion of you more than the trouble you were about to get into. When your consciousness made you feel as bad as the lectures or even the whipping.  When our world (our parents and communities, as we grew up) taught us  to govern our conduct with our intelligence, not outside forces. A time and place when we were taught to be responsible parts of the communities and ourselves.  When we were taught, that the only person that could put barriers on you, was yourself. 

It was those times when working hard toward a dream or desire didn't always make it happen but made you a better person for trying and doing the best you could.

There is something wrong when you are so afraid to go out and tell the kids that are smashing bottles in the street they need to stop, for fear of retaliation.  A friend went out when he heard a couple young men breaking wing mirrors on the cars as they went down his street.  He didn’t even get a chance to say more than Oy! And two days later there was a brick through the windshield of his car.

There are some lovely kids out there, in fact I would say most kids are good.  The bad ones, which are not the majority, are like a wild pack of dogs with memories and more human rights than should be humanly available.  It worries me to think that my grandchildren will live in a world where we are afraid of standing up for the rights of the majority. I am worried our definitions of what is right and wrong will change places and there will be no more room for good honest people who just want to live their lives in peace.   

As human beings, we have rights, not to be threatened, molested, attacked, victimized or even killed by perpetrators that currently hold more rights than we do.  Sorry but to think that those people who lost their children, their parents, their friends at someone else’s hand have less rights than the guilty, is WRONG.  Those lost lives who will never have rights of their own again but the ones who took those rights, now seem to have boundless rights themselves. And that is WRONG.

As much as this upsets the very core of my being, what can I do to change it?   What can one person do – a nano amount to nothing.  We can analyze the hell out of the problem but where can we start to make changes.  I know I am not the only one feeling this way.  So if anyone has some ideas on where to start.  Please let me know.

I am losing my faith in humanity and there are thousands out there who feel the same.  I know I have spoken of being a troll under a bridge, who doesn’t care but it sounds a safer place to be these days for someone who truly cares.   Someone who cares but out of frustration is lost in an ocean of warped rights and growing wrongs.