Little Piggies in a Pen

Woke up this morning realizing just how cynical and negative I have been lately.  There are a thousand reasons to be that way but the biggest one is choice.  It is my choice to let the world get into the fiber of my being and reek havoc.

Cynical is an outlook, an optional way to see the world.  Often a result of the way the world has been going. You would think after all these years of internal mental observation I would have better control but I seem to be slipping. Well it is time to slip back.

Waking up feeling a little better for a better nights sleep.  This is not to say that the government has changed its ways.  It is still not a full democracy.  It still looks after the rich and terrorizes the poor. It is the blind eye it turns that is the most appalling.  Playing stupid does little to bolster the faith the majority has in it. 

Better the devil you know, they say.  Not I.  Not when it directly attacks the columns of support – the little people.  It does and we as the people are shoved into thinking that we can have little effect as individuals or groups.

The bedroom tax that is about to go into effect isn’t the worst idea in the world if it applies to ALL. Apply it to everyone and it is easier to see the benefits.  Apply it to the mansions ,the castles, the three,five or seven bedrooms. But they can’t.  Think of the money  that the mansions would be paying out for their twelve extra rooms or for multiple holiday homes. They can't because Money would scream and cry and throw the toys from the playpen and the government doesn't listen to the masses it listens to the Money.  

But it is what we have asked for by standing down and letting it happen.  Keep the little piggies busy so they have no time to think of how they can change things.  Keep them worried about their own little lives so they have no time to consider the bigger picture.  Keep them dependent on our FREE gifts and distracted with stories of morality and horse meat so they won’t see the needle as we the government slip it in to draw that little bit more blood. Keep them preoccupied so they won’t have the time or energy to expose our true ineptitude for governing.

How long will it be? When will we find our voices and our strength, before the Stressgun meets our foreheads and we are just another causualty of the governments slaughter house. As we struggle to prop up the world chained in by our struggles hemmed in by those who want to protect their freebies who are imprisoned my the money mongers, while the blood is sucked out little by little until the stress puts that deadly gun to our heads and we are freed. A causulty of a world who doesn't even know we existed.

You just want to scream  ‘Come on little piggies, look, see and then let’s do something about it. Yea, righ!.  Why get out there and get busy when we can watch our television and be entertained.  Why make our minds work when we can let them lay lazy and watch. 

Not such a bad idea. Laying and letting life bleed slowly away might be the way to live but how long have you seen things continue before something causes a hiccup or a full spew into the works.  I wonder if the Bookies are taking bets on when the world is going to flipflop. Wonder if I will bleed out before it does.

I would not say I am a doomsday prepper but it I do find pleasure learning little things that might help me to survive.  Not that surviving some apocalyptic event is something I desire. No, it is much more desirable to let those with real gusto to do that.

I thought about it for years and I am of no mind having to actually to survive and reinvent my place in some new world order.  Let me go and be reborn to it.  Much easier to work with something if you have never know any different.  Chicken shit thinking but then that is a label, which has not weight with the dead.

So I think I am truly feeling a bit chipper this morning - Can you tell?  Yesterday following that dream where I could not breath. Where I know I had stopped breathing in my sleep long enough and was deep enough in sleep that I had to shock myself awake.  What better way to do that than to dream I was suffocating and I was.

Last night I suffered what seems a lovely night's sleep and my assignment is to find good things to write about.  Not real fluffy stuff, but some nice, strokes gently perhaps of the joys of a pet I have had. Not that I want to give up on the sinister in my writing but I need to.

I need to think of Sammy and Sophie (Muscovy) and all the pleasant memories they shared with us. I need to think back and remember those happy memories because there are many and they shouldn’t be wiped over by the bullshit bad things that I have no control over. My Grandchildren, my painting, my writings, so many worderful things to think on, time to practice what I preach to myself.

I need to be patient there are things happening which are tumultuous but will resolve themselves with time.  I am in limbo and it is a bad place to be for me. Slap me with it good or bad but don’t leave me floating in suspense.  Floating is mind bending – I hate it, even when I know that is my problem, it is hard not to succumb to the panic I feel inside.  It makes me lash out and I am more controlled than that.

So this morning’s light musings will hopefully be the beginning of a better grip.  I will be a little bit more honest with myself on my limitations.  A little restrained honesty with how I voice my opinions.  I am working at core values and to change core thinking in others is not an easy task and of no real desire to me.  People tend to lash out when their core beliefs are attacked.  I attack mine daily. It is an assult that has been ongoing for all of my adult life.

They are how we judge or are judged by the rest of the world and I want mine to reflect me as the complex individual I know we humans are.  I want to reach in and nab that one thought or statement that molded that particular personal trait and give it a good shaking to make sure it can stand its ground.

I have been avoiding that recently hiding in the self indulgent pity of being only one voice and unable to assault the masses to make them see … screw the masses (for now) I need to assault myself and take care of mine own.

I need to quit worrying of othing thinking I am presenting myself as a better person to others or trying to outshine them.  That is their interpretation of my actions not my intension.  It is important to celebrate others accomplishment but do not let that foreshadow your own right to feeling accomplished too.

(A moment in time and time doesn't stand still even for me.)